We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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