I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
