ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
