I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize