woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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