Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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