Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
