dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
