I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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