NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
