Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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