I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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