Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
