We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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