either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
