i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
