um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
