As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im having a threesome with these popsicles
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize