he thought i was a dude.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
