I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
