I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
