these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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