is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
