omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
