I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
