He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
