She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
bring money and cleavage
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
