Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
