ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
