yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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