Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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