I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
How does it feel to date your dad?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
