I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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