is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
