Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
