I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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