can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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