Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize