took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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