I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
