So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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