It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
