Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
