I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
