Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
