North Korea, Best Korea!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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