I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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