can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This is the high leading the old right now
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
