the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
