Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
