About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize