Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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