Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
