the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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