I can tuck mytits in my pants
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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